The Responsibility Avoider (Part 4 of 6 Difficult People Guide)

Have you ever had a conversation with a subordinate or team member where you were trying to coach them and correct a problem and throughout the discussion they decided to turn away from their actions to the actions of others or other perceived issues outside of themselves?

It is a great frustration to try to get a person who takes no responsibility to focus on what they are doing. So often they want to put the focus on others in an attempt to get the spotlight off from themselves.

In this post, we will discuss how to deal with these people and get them to focus on their actions instead of avoiding responsibility and side-tracking the conversation. Don't forget to check out the other post in this series discussing how to deal with difficult people.

Check Out the Entire Series:

Part 1: A Guide to Dealing with Difficult People - Introduction

Part 2: The Complainer

Part 3: The Sour Attitude

Part 4: The Responsibility Avoider

Part 5: The Spokesperson

Part 6: Engaging and Guiding Difficult People

Choose the Right Environment

The first thing you need to do is make sure that when you have a conversation with these people, you do it in private without any interruptions or distractions. Pick a spot that is favorable to an interview where there will be no distractions. These people will look for any way to get out of a discussion that concerns performance issues related to themselves, so it is essential that the environment does not allow for distractions.

Make sure that you have your facts written out with specific examples of the issues you need to address with them. Dates, times, and details of each situation are critical. The more facts you have that you can directly point to, the harder it will be for this person to deflect responsibility and change the subject.

Prepare Mentally

Before the conversation, it is essential that you are in the proper mental state to have the discussion. You do not want to allow yourself to become agitated or frustrated. Prepare yourself mentally for the likelihood that they will obfuscate and try to distract you from the facts at hand. You need to make sure you are in control of your own emotions because these people will no doubt make your blood boil and push you to the point of losing your cool which plays right into their hands. They want you to get emotional because it will keep you off balance and allow them to take the conversation off topic.

Begin With Precise Facts

When you begin your conversation tell them very clearly what the issue is, present your facts, and let them know in no uncertain terms what the expected changes are that need to occur to resolve the deficiency in performance. Monitor their performance and ensure that they understand the expectations and consequences of not meeting expectations.

Throughout the conversation, they will try to blame others for their performance issues and work to steer the conversation away from themselves. No matter how often they do this, or how frustrating it becomes, keep your cool, do not let them rattle your cage.

Every time they try to change the subject bring them back to their performance and their actions. When they want to discuss a coworker tell them, “I am not going to discuss so-and-so now." Tell them in no uncertain terms that the discussion will focus exclusively on their performance and actions and how they need to work on improving what they are doing.

Don't Allow Them to Obfuscate or Distract

If they try to distract you by bringing up irrelevant items that they claim are causing their performance issues, then you need to deal with it right away. Don't go down rabbit holes. Stay focused on your main points of emphasis.

As an example, if they claim they do not have a proper tool for doing their job, or that the tools they have need repair or replacement, make the commitment to address these items but then steer the conversation back to their performance. The conversation might go something like this:

I understand that the tools you have may not be ideal, I will look to see what we can do to address your concerns, but you are being asked to use the same tools as everybody else, and your performance continues to be below the rest of the team. So, what can you do to meet expectations with the tools you have available to you?

Never allow the individual you are talking with to distract from the real problem. If they have legitimate concerns or points, then listen. Write them down and follow through on any authentic concerns. However, do not let these concerns derail the conversation. Always stay focused on the actions of the individual and still keep them focused on what their performance issues are and on what they need to do to improve performance.

State What the Problem is and What are the Expectations

When talking to an employee about a performance gap you need to clearly state what the current performance is, how it differs from expectations, and what good performance looks like. Do not be vague. Give clear examples of each of these points. For the employee to understand what the problem is they need to see the entire picture clearly. This will also help to keep the conversation focused on the individual's performance.

Help them to Come Up With a Solution

Finally, push them to come up with a solution to the problem. Let them tell you how they are going to correct the performance or what they need from you that will help them. Do not just tell them what they are going to do. Your job is to state the problem, give a statement as to what good performance looks like, and then assist them in coming up with a solution. You should not be telling them how to correct the issue.

A person is more likely to engage in improvements if they feel like they own it and have control of it. They are less likely to change if they feel they are being forced to do something.

Conclusion

When dealing with a problematic employee you always need to keep them focused on the fact that the only things that they ultimately have control over are their thoughts and actions - they do not have power over anything else. Also, you need to ensure that you are in control of your emotions and that you are prepared to have the conversation.

Keep the employee focused on what they are doing and how it is affecting their work. Help them to understand the gap between their current performance and expected performance. If they have legitimate concerns, address them to maintain your integrity. However, once you have removed the roadblocks, you must put the focus back on the individual’s accountability and actions.

Help the employee to own the problem by giving them responsibility and the authority to develop and implement a solution. If they feel they have ownership of the solution they are more likely to make the needed improvements.

Remember, that as much as the problematic employee is in control of their actions you are also in control of your actions. Make sure you are doing the right things to manage these problematic relationships.